PUSHING THROUGH
It’s just been a time, hasn’t it? First off, it’s cold outside. The sun is not ready for spring or summer. It’s drab (though I do love the rain). I planted some spinach, lettuce, and kale but I can’t even get motivated to go out and check on the damn things to see if they are sprouting up yet. That’s something I love to do. To watch seeds grow. But no. I don’t want to go outside.
Secondly, just politics in general in the US. It’s awful what’s happening here and I don’t support it one bit. So if you think any of this is ok, go right ahead and move onto the next site. You’re not going to find any love or support here. Bye, Felicia!
The cold feeling outside combined with the cold feeling inside (my emotions) leaves me dying to be creative but completely unable to be. I just stare at paper. I have blank thoughts. I just don’t wanna do anything - and I can’t stand it.
Luckily this weekend my husband and I went to Lowe Mill to check out the new Huntsville Art Supplies shop. Picked up a few new things and then walked around the studios. Came by Corinna Nicole’s studio (we always drop in when we are there) to say hey. We chatted a little bit and vented about the state of the world and social media.
It was great seeing so many people stopping in her shop to check out her work. I was again feeling so jealous of her awesome setup. How could I ever get to that level if getting down knocks me completely out? How does she do it?! How do any of them do it?! Aren’t these cold weather and cold heart emotions supposed to make people outrageously creative?!??!!!?
I promised myself when I got home that I would just push through my slump and make something. Anything. Redo shit I had already done. Test out new techniques. Scribble. Whatever as long as it was something artistic. Which, I honestly really hate doing when I’m not in the mood. I need to be able to walk into my studio with ideas and energy. Not force myself to sit on a wooden stool and pick up a pen and move it around on something. It just feels… the vibes are off.
But I did it anyway. I put my headphones on. Put on some Fink and this random 80s sounding remixes of more contemporary songs that I found on YouTube Music and just started doing some more of the same style I usually do. Then when I needed to let the first thing dry, I thought, what if I do something with a circle? So I grabbed a few circular things from the kitchen and started doodling with them on top of a previous piece I had kind of given up on.
I felt like I struck gold! I was finally doing good stuff again! At the end of the night I walked away with a couple of brand new pieces and a few newly finished ones. I’ll call that a success.
I’m glad I got out of the house and saw a familiar face. I’m glad I got to see pretty art that inspired me. I guess sometimes you just get so down that at some point the only alternative is to travel in the opposite direction. Might not always be a straight and direct path up but at least it’s not punching through the ground and going deeper. I’ll take it.
